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Tuesday, August 12, 2025

When You Don’t Need Your Children To Be Simply Like You


There comes a second when your youngster would possibly search for and say, with wide-eyed innocence:

  • “I wish to go to the workplace and sort on a laptop computer all day like Mommy.”
  • “I wish to journey overseas for work for 2 weeks at a time like Daddy.”
  • “I wish to have video conferences at dwelling and within the workplace such as you.”
  • “I wish to go to work and are available dwelling late each evening.”

At first, it’s possible you’ll really feel a surge of pleasure. Your onerous work is being seen. You’ve develop into a job mannequin. However virtually as rapidly, that pleasure can twist into one thing else: concern.

As a result of if they really knew what it was prefer to be you—confused, exhausted, chasing monetary safety, and feeling responsible for not doing sufficient—they may rethink their desires. And also you would possibly, too.

Why I Don’t Need My Children to Be Like Me

After publishing my WSJ bestseller, Purchase This, Not That in 2022, I used to be drained. Conventional publishing was new for me, and whereas I used to be proud to attempt it, it felt like swinging two bats on the plate – exhausting however satisfying to let go.

Then my writer, Portfolio Penguin, supplied me a two-book deal. I hesitated. Did I actually wish to put myself by the grind once more? A part of me mentioned no. However one other half—the half that desires to instill a powerful work ethic in my kids—mentioned sure.

As a FIRE mother or father, I fear about creating an phantasm that life is simple. It’s completely not. So I dedicated to the second e book, not simply to assist readers, however to indicate my children what persistence appears like.

The Second E-book, And A Second Of Dread

Three years later, Millionaire Milestones: Easy Steps To Seven Figures is completed and can hit cabinets tomorrow on Might 6, 2025. My son has seen me write, heard me speak by chapters, and even weighed in on cowl designs.

At some point after college, he advised me, “I wish to be a author such as you, Daddy.”

My coronary heart swelled. After which sank.

As a result of whereas writing is rewarding, it’s additionally brutally onerous and never financially sensible.

The Arduous Lifetime of a Author

I’ve typically questioned how children find yourself pursuing a number of the least profitable jobs after 17 years of schooling. Don’t they understand the world is simply too merciless to allow them to main in Artwork Historical past, English, or Poetry?

Perhaps not. At school, they’re inspired to be inventive, comply with their passions, and imagine they will obtain something with onerous work. Then they rigorously observe every part you do, even in the event you assume they aren’t watching. Watch out.

Sadly, life has payments to pay.

Until you’re from an extraordinarily rich household, spending 4 years and a whole bunch of 1000’s of {dollars} on school to pursue a profession within the arts is impractical.

If my son majored in English and have become a author like me, he’d face many hungry days. He’d probably by no means earn sufficient to purchase a house, not to mention get married and begin a household.

As a substitute, he might find yourself dwelling in our storage, questioning the place all of it went fallacious. Throughout my 24 years in San Francisco, I’ve seen loads of grownup sons dwelling at dwelling, unable to offer for themselves.

My spouse and I won’t see grandchildren both. By pursuing writing, our household lineage might finish, except we construct a genetic dynasty just like the one in Isaac Asimov’s Basis.

The Harsh Economics of Writing

The common e book advance? $5,000–$10,000. Even a prime 1% advance of $250,000 is often cut up over 3–4 funds and a couple of–3 years. That’s perhaps $83,000 a yr, hardly a golden ticket, particularly in a high-cost metropolis.

And most writers don’t even get a deal. Roughly 95% fail to land one. Do not develop into a skilled author if you wish to reside properly.

As one dad mentioned to me in 2022 throughout a tenting play date, after I talked about writing one other e book, “I’m sorry. Synthetic intelligence is disrupting every part.”

So when my son says he desires to comply with in my footsteps, I really feel conflicted. I would like him to be inventive and fulfilled. However I additionally need him to eat.

Highest-paying jobs

Running a blog Is not Simple Both

“Can’t he simply begin a weblog such as you did?” some would possibly ask.

Positive. However most bloggers make little to nothing for years, even when they publish 3 times per week. AI-generated content material is flooding the web, making it tougher for bloggers to outlive.

Sure, he might attempt YouTube or podcasting. However these, too, are lengthy video games full of uncertainty.

Don’t construct your predominant profession on a platform you don’t personal, and don’t count on ardour alone to pay the payments. Listed below are some reflections on getting cash on-line since 2009.

Significant vs. Profitable Careers

Ideally, your youngster will discover work that’s each significant and financially safe. Medical doctors, nurses, and lecturers all contribute to society in unimaginable methods. However even they face burnout. For lecturers, they typically aren’t paid sufficient for what they do.

On the opposite finish are the high-paying however probably soul-draining jobs—funding banking, huge tech, administration consulting, and legislation—the industries the place many elite college graduates land. Whereas the work will not be fulfilling, these roles can speed up the trail to monetary independence.

Demand for software developers is declining
Even the once-coveted software program developer job could also be getting disrupted by AI.

The Freedom To Select Comes From Monetary Stability

In case you or your youngster desires to comply with a ardour, pursue it as a aspect hustle, no less than till you’re financially secure. Be taught to put in writing clearly to develop into a greater communicator, not essentially to make it a profession.

Maybe essentially the most sensible path is to give attention to making most cash for the primary 10-20 years of your post-education life after which shift to one thing extra gratifying.

Personally, I’d love for my boy to pursue a profession that helps society, even when it doesn’t pay properly. However he’ll solely have that selection if he builds wealth early. Ardour with out revenue is a quick observe to resentment.

Earlier than you attempt to save the world, you’ve obtained to save lots of your self.

Work Ethic Is The One Factor We Can Management

You may’t dictate your youngster’s path, however you may mannequin willpower, self-discipline, and pleasure in your work. These are common expertise in any area.

That’s one purpose I pushed by writing Millionaire Milestones. It’s not only a e book, it is the end result of many years of monetary studying, packaged to assist folks construct nice wealth step-by-step. The liberty to decide on your life’s later path is priceless.

However let’s be frank: there’s no approach I might have written this e book or maintained this web site since 2009 with out the online price and passive revenue to assist my household.

Writing is a labor of affection. It brings deep satisfaction. However the freedom to do it repeatedly got here solely after reaching a minimal degree of monetary safety.

Closing Ideas

So when your child says they wish to be identical to you, take a second. Smile. Hug them deeply with all of your love. Then assume onerous about what it means and how much life you actually need them to have.

As a result of perhaps the best reward we may give our kids isn’t simply inspiration. It’s optionality.

Millionaire Milestones launches tomorrow and I might love so that you can decide up a tough copy and construct extra wealth than you ever thought potential. Perhaps I may even present my children their previous man nonetheless obtained it. Thanks on your assist!

Millionaire Milestones book by Sam Dogen, When You Don’t Want Your Kids To Grow Up To Be Just Like You
Click on the hyperlink to select up a duplicate on Amazon

Reader Questions

Readers, do you imagine in following your ardour or being sensible? Would you like your children to develop as much as do what you do? Why or why not? How will we guarantee our youngsters select occupations that pay sufficient and are additionally spiritually rewarding? How will we instill in our kids a piece ethic that can assist them succeed, regardless of their occupation?

When You Do not Need Your Children To Develop Up To Be Like You is a Monetary Samurai authentic submit. All rights reserved. For extra private finance insights, be part of 60,000+ others and join my free weekly publication.

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