A few weeks in the past, I posted a couple of really horrible proposal of marriage acquired by Elizabeth Bennet in Pleasure and Prejudice, and the way it’s like some fundraising: The sort the place organizations say, “It’s best to donate as a result of that will be superb for us.”
Since then, I remembered one thing else about Pleasure and Prejudice: Elizabeth had the misfortune of getting a second horrible proposal, not lengthy after that first one. This one from Mr. Darcy, a super-rich man who appeared to dislike almost everybody, together with Elizabeth.
Till he out of the blue reveals up the place she’s staying and, to her nice shock, says he loves her and needs to marry her. However boy does he blow it. He principally says I’m an enormous deal, you aren’t, and I shouldn’t marry you — however I wish to anyway. Right here’s a part of that scene from the e-book, which not directly describes what he has to say:
His sense of her inferiority — of its being a degradation — of the household obstacles which judgment had at all times against inclination, had been dwelt on with a heat which appeared as a result of consequence he was wounding, however was most unlikely to advocate his swimsuit…. He concluded with representing to her the power of that attachment which, despite all his endeavours, he had discovered unimaginable to overcome; and with expressing his hope that it could now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he stated this, she may simply see that he had little doubt of a beneficial reply. He spoke of apprehension and nervousness, however his countenance expressed actual safety.
Generally, fundraising is like that:
Our group is actually, actually essential. We do one thing that issues so much, and we’re superb at it. You, donor, then again, are poor in some ways. You may have few sources. You don’t actually perceive our work. You’re insufficiently linked with our trigger. You simply don’t get it. However we’d like your cash. So cough it up.
Then they surprise why “Elizabeth” says no.
Sadly, we see fundraising like that commonly. It’s fairly in style amongst some in our neighborhood.
Many readers of the e-book surprise how Elizabeth may presumably settle for Mr. Darcy, as she finally does — they usually get married. How may anybody say sure after such a self-centered, scolding, disagreeable attraction letter proposal.
In most relationship moments, issues go higher if you perceive: It’s not all about me!
If you wish to affect individuals and enhance your connection, it’s good to perceive their world. Why they would possibly care. Actually, What’s in it for them?
Approaching the connection with an smug, me-first, “you’re a loser” method is a fast path to failure. Whether or not you’re in search of marriage or a donation. Relationships go each methods.
Poor Mr. Collins was a schlub. Mr. Darcy was a jerk (There’s a greater time period for what he was, however I desire to not use it right here).
Don’t be both of them.
The 1995 TV miniseries of Pleasure and Prejudice depicts what Mr. Darcy may need truly stated for his proposal. See it right here on YouTube.
