A typical supercommuter spends 90 minutes or extra a technique commuting to work or faculty. As the price of dwelling continues to outpace wage development, supercommuting is rising in recognition. In response to a latest U.S. Census Bureau report, an estimated 5 million individuals at the moment are supercommuters—up from roughly 3.42 million in 2012.
I hate lengthy commutes. Taking the bus or driving to work was certainly one of my prime three annoyances whereas I used to be employed.
Once I retired in 2012, one of many biggest joys was by no means having to commute once more. Getting again that point, vitality, and psychological readability was a very lifestyle-enhancing good thing about retirement. Then, when the pandemic hit in 2020, thousands and thousands around the globe obtained to expertise that very same freedom. Is there any surprise why it’s been so onerous to persuade employees to return to the workplace?
On this submit, I wish to spotlight the hidden toll of supercommuting to work or faculty. Certain, you’ll spend extra on fuel when you drive. However that’s only the start. So before you purchase a extra inexpensive residence in alternate for an extended commute, be forewarned: the trade-offs is probably not price it.
My Expertise With Supercommuting
After deciding to not pony up a small fortune for a trip rental in Honolulu, I opted for my household of 4 to stick with my mother and father for as much as 5 weeks. They’ve three free bedrooms of their five-bedroom home, and it’s a house I’ve returned to for 39 years. It feels comfy to me, however to not all.
A few of you thought this was a great way to save cash. Others—principally ladies—mentioned it was merciless to topic my spouse to such “confinement” for therefore lengthy. I get it. Staying together with your in-laws for various days is loads to ask, particularly with out en suite loos or separate kitchens and entrances. And never everyone likes to be in Hawaii in the course of the summer time warmth.
Nonetheless, the most cost effective appropriate three-bedroom rental I may discover price $16,000 after taxes and charges. A nothing fancy four-bedroom rental, with no pool, which we preferred, was $24,000. After proudly owning actual property since 2003, I simply can’t convey myself to spend that a lot on a brief keep that builds no fairness.
To discover a compromise, we stayed at my aunt and uncle’s place on the North Shore—as much as 1.5 hours away—after 13 days with my mother and father, to provide each my spouse and mother a break for 9 days. It gave me a break too as I may return to dwelling with out fear of doing issues in a approach that might agitate my mother, e.g. reduce fruit on the best aspect of the sink as a substitute of the left.
The youngsters have been blissful wherever they have been, so everybody gained, effectively, aside from me who needed to drive ~2.5 extra hours a day for 5 days. In whole, we stayed on the North Shore for 9 nights (two weekends and M-F).
The False Begin
We picked up our children at 4:55 p.m. Friday from summer time faculty at Punahou to move to Laie for the weekend. All was effectively—till six minutes in, our five-year-old daughter introduced she needed to pee. I circled and went again to highschool so she wouldn’t have to carry it.
Had we been commuting from my mother and father’ home, simply eight-to-ten minutes away, I’d’ve simply stored driving. That’s one surprising price of supercommuting—having to handle bodily features mid-ride. Most adults can uncomfortably maintain it for an hour or two. However children? Not a lot.
We lastly arrived in Laie an hour and half-hour later. The youngsters napped for 35 minutes, so the journey felt like a breeze to them. Though I used to be drained, I used to be additionally excited to benefit from the freedom of getting our personal house once more.

The Monday Morning Supercommute
After a enjoyable weekend full of Pokémon Go Fest, Giovanni’s garlic shrimp, and seaside walks, actuality returned Monday morning.
I handed out by 10 p.m. Sunday after placing the youngsters down by 9:20 with my spouse. I awakened at 2:45 a.m. to get a head begin on publishing a brand new submit, responding to feedback, and going for a morning stroll on the seaside.
The youngsters awakened at 6:30 a.m., and we left by 6:55 to make it to highschool by 8. Again in Honolulu, we often go away at 7:40, so the sooner begin was uncomfortable for my spouse and daughter, who aren’t morning individuals.
Straight away, I may inform the drive would take longer than anticipated. We have been caught behind a gasoline tanker on a single-lane street for about 15 miles, averaging simply 32 mph as a substitute of the same old 40.
About 45 minutes in, I obtained a textual content from my spouse thanking me for the experience and the peace and quiet. At a cease gentle, I couldn’t assist replying with a GPS screenshot to indicate the place we have been—7 minutes not on time. Normally, the GPS arrival time was conservative and simple to beat.
However then I made a mistake. I resumed driving whereas glancing on the screenshot I had despatched her as a substitute of the reside Apple Maps. That mind fart price us one other 11 minutes. As an alternative of arriving at 8:06 a.m., we obtained to highschool at 8:16. Ugh—I hate being late.

A Place To Hold Out Made Supercommuting Extra Manageable
At first, I believed I’d simply hang around on the seaside or mall all day earlier than choosing the youngsters up at 4:55 p.m. My spouse additionally wished me to choose up some groceries. No drawback. There was no approach I used to be going to drive 1.15 hours again to Laie after drop off after which do it once more within the afternoon. I figured I’d nap within the automotive below a banyan tree if I needed to.
Then I remembered my mother and father’ home was solely 8 minutes farther. I may write, relaxation, and handle the renovation of an in-law unit I used to be engaged on. Having a house base made the day way more manageable. If I needed to additionally work a full-time job throughout that commute, I’d’ve been utterly wiped.
Actually, after dropping off the youngsters, I spent the day within the metropolis writing a submit, recording a solo podcast episode, speaking to my mother and father, grabbing lunch, and squeezing in a fast 15-minute nap.
Then I handled the handyman, swung by Complete Meals for groceries, and picked up the youngsters at 4:55 p.m. The day flew by—and by the tip of it, the considered driving quarter-hour to highschool and 1 hour and quarter-hour again to Laie throughout rush hour was the very last thing I wished to do.
The Subsequent Day of Supercommuting (Good Then Unhealthy)
By the second day of supercommuting, I felt extra assured. I knew the route higher and had discovered from my errors. I obtained the youngsters to highschool 10 minutes early and shaved 20 minutes off the drive. It felt like a small win. However in fact, good issues by no means final.
Once I arrived at my mother and father’ home the plumbers had already proven up early. Then, half-hour later, the handyman arrived. In whole, I spent 9 hours managing 5 completely different employees attempting to repair up our long-neglected in-law unit. I hate transforming and swore to by no means achieve this once more. However right here I used to be, like a masochist, doing it once more whereas I used to be presupposed to be enjoyable on trip.
To profit from the downtime, I introduced my laptop computer exterior and labored on a brand new submit. However with the solar blazing and temps hitting 85 levels, I used to be drained by mid-afternoon.
By 4:40 p.m., all I wished to do was lie down in an air-conditioned room and take a nap. However no such luxurious. I needed to hop again within the automotive, drive by way of rush hour to choose up the youngsters, then endure one other 1 hour and 13 minutes again to Laie.
My zest for all times? Gone. After 10 minutes of small discuss with the youngsters about their day, I turned on some music and simply listened like a zombie. I didn’t have the vitality to maintain the dialog going.
By the point we obtained residence, I used to be toast—only a drained, barely grumpy dad who wished nothing greater than to relax and crack open a chilly beer.
Constructive Ideas To Intestine On By means of
Although I used to be commuting about 2.5 hours further a day, I advised myself it was price it—for my spouse’s happiness, my mother’s privateness, and even my children’ resilience. Perhaps the longer commute would construct their endurance and train them the worth of waking up early.
Maybe most significantly, my spouse appreciated the hassle I put in to make her blissful. Judging by her FaceTime calls from the seaside, she positively appeared extra relaxed and content material! With appreciation, I used to be motivated to maintain on supercommuting.
As a father, you do what you may to supply. A bit of further effort plus some problem-solving goes an extended method to making a suboptimal scenario higher. Obtained to assume constructive! Previously, it by no means occurred to me commuting from Laie to downtown Honolulu can be an possibility.
In addition to, figuring out the supercommuting stint was momentary made it tolerable. My children had Friday off for the 4th of July, so I solely needed to supercommute for 4 days—a complete of ~11 hours of further driving. Oh yeah, however I forgot about including the 2 halves of driving up Thursday evening and returning Monday morning. So extra like 13.5 hours of additional driving.
The Hidden Prices of Supercommuting
At first look, supercommuting would possibly appear to be an affordable trade-off. Save 20–60% on housing and spend an additional two hours and thirty minutes commuting a day? Perhaps not so unhealthy, particularly if the median residence worth is above $1 million.
However along with a whole bunch extra in fuel and transit prices every month, listed here are different downsides:
- Elevated threat of damage or loss of life – Extra time on the street means extra publicity to accidents, particularly when driving with children. I actually noticed a automotive on a residential avenue close to my father or mother’s home flip upside-down as a result of it obtained t-boned at an intersection. One of many automobiles did not cease on the cease signal.
- Larger stress and cortisol ranges – Unhealthy drivers, site visitors jams, and street rage add up, draining your emotional reserves for the day and night. You would possibly find yourself creating power ache, elevate your stress ranges, and in the end, shorten your lifespan in consequence.
- Put on and tear in your car – Extra miles imply extra upkeep, particularly in case your automotive isn’t ultra-reliable. You will even have to exchange issues extra usually, like your tires and brakes.
- Higher probability of getting tickets – From parking errors to rushing tickets, elevated driving time raises your probabilities of infractions. In flip, your automotive insurance coverage premiums may go up.
- Decreased happiness and concord together with your important different – Lengthy commutes drain your vitality and endurance, which suggests by the point you get residence, you could be extra irritable, checked out, or simply plain exhausted. Small disagreements can flare up extra simply when one or each of you’re working on fumes. Over time, the emotional toll of being bodily distant and mentally unavailable provides up.
If You Are Going To Often Supercommute
For those who plan to supercommute frequently, two issues are crucial: a protected, dependable automotive and life insurance coverage.
My spouse and I’ve matching 20-year time period life insurance coverage insurance policies, which have supplied great peace of thoughts. I like to recommend locking in an inexpensive coverage by way of Policygenius to cowl your money owed and defend your kids till they grow to be adults.
Right here in Honolulu, nevertheless, we don’t have what I’d take into account a safe-enough automotive for long-term supercommuting. We’re utilizing my dad’s 1997 Toyota Avalon. Whereas it’s a nostalgic beast, it has poor acceleration for evasive driving, a wobbly axle, shaky brakes above 45 mph, no aspect curtain or rear airbags, no blind spot detectors, no sensors, and no rear digicam. I’m not even certain the entrance airbags work.
Consequently, I drive slowly and attempt to keep further alert. The one saving grace is that the pace limits between the North Shore and Honolulu are comparatively low—35 mph on the single-lane “freeway” and 50 mph on the primary freeways. So it’s not like mainland highways the place individuals routinely push 70–85 mph.
If we return to this identical dwelling and commuting association once more, I plan to lease a brand new automotive for $100/day. It’ll not solely be safer, however it’ll additionally liberate my dad to run errands in the course of the week with his personal 28-year-old automotive. A win-win.
Closing Ideas on Supercommuting
Supercommuting would possibly appear to be a wise monetary transfer, particularly when housing close to work is unaffordable. However earlier than you commit, look past the financial savings. Dwelling in a smaller home or condominium to avoid wasting time commuting is my choice .
Each hour on the street is an hour not spent together with your family members. Each aggravating drive takes a toll in your temper, focus, and well being. And each surprising delay chips away at your endurance—particularly if you’re juggling the calls for of household life and work.
Personally, a comparable residence would have to be at the least 70% cheaper to justify including two further hours of commuting every day. And even then, I’m undecided the trade-off can be definitely worth the toll on my time, vitality, and well-being. The time I get to spend with my children after faculty is just too treasured to sacrifice.
For those who reside inside quarter-hour of each your work and your kids’s faculty, take into account your self lucky. Whereas distant work surged in the course of the pandemic, in-person collaboration has made a powerful comeback. Consequently, well-located properties in job-centric cities—particularly the place provide is constrained—might outperform sooner or later.
If you are going to supercommute, have a plan. Know your timeline. Perceive your causes. And ensure the trade-off is actually price it. As a result of ultimately, a less expensive residence isn’t price it if it leaves you drained and hating life.
Readers, are any of you supercommuters? In that case, how do you make the lengthy transportation time extra bearable? Are there any surprising advantages to supercommuting past saving on housing prices or being nearer to household or a greater faculty? I would love to listen to your methods and insights.
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